Ready for Vaca... VERY ready!

Damn Straight!
Yup... that's right.
I can't wait for the eight hours left between me and Vaca to sail right the fuck on by.
I have been burnin' both ends for the last couple of weeks and I need to unwind.


Like a two-fisted sucker punch!
The way things have been going at work this past week I have just wanted to run screaming from the office.
As of Late I am more a babysitter than coworker.
I know it's called life and that is just how it comes at ya... but I am just tired and need a little room to breath.
Thank god for the brief escapes down to the shop for a little sanity... or insanity I guess is more the case... but it's the small kinds of sanity that keep me inside of the lines.
Lately Punching some one has become more of a possibility than most of my normal day to day control... so like I said for his safety... I am REALLY looking forward to the time off.

Alright enough pissin and moaning.... so are we drinking on Saturday or what?
I intend to have a few... that much I know... Let me know if I am drinking alone or if there will be a small collection of drunk assholes clustered around a game camera somewhere.


All Rick's fault!
oh yeah and rick... I looked at my message log this morning and thanks to you I seem to have a fuckload of text messages that have gather up... Think i need to clean that out some time... you have turned me into a textin' freak I swear... but in reality it was just a matter of time I mean you all knew that I was an "Anti-social prick" to begin with and texting is the perfect way to BS all the time in short bursts that doesn't really require human interaction.... so in other word the perfect method for me.


Stick a fork in me...
Alright... time to wrap this smoke wagon up and head her toward the sun... I am done for the night... talk to you all later

My mind is blank...

Well actually that isn't true....
it is flooded with all kinds of things like "Sprint T1 connection contracts" and "Shift and reboots coverages" "Contracts" and half a million other buzzkills.

So I just have a crapload of... crap on my mind.
It really is fucking up my good time.
Who knew being a responsible adult was such a total pain in the ass.
I just wanna kick something and scream.

**Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh** I don't think I have the fucking energy... it would end up just being a nudge and a grunt at this fuckin' rate, I swear.

Can't drink.... Much

Tonight should be fun....
I am on duty of course so I need to take it easy....
but it still should be a fun time.

I feel guilty blogging.

Why you ask...
Well it really goes deeper than a simple answer.
I know Rick has listened to me run my mouth on the subject more than anyone should have to but otherwise I don't really say much about it.

Comments I guess is where it starts.
By and large I tend to censor myself when I visit all of your blogs and when I don't I begin to wonder just how out of place my comments tend to look.
You all seem to have "Normal" regular old people that tend to visit and comment...
I have you guys ;0) **Laughs** (I meant that in a good way believe it or not)
You tend to accept me for who I am and what I say but let's be honest... I don't even come close to passing for a responsible adult.
So there are generally a great deal of comments I don't make on your blogs because while I find them amusing and I am sure that Rick and I would laugh about them all the way into work... I don't think they hold the same weight and merit with most people.

...and all of that having been said... sometimes it is just difficult to come up with something to say that is amusing and doesn't offend most people to the point where Rick and I are the only ones commenting...
don't get me wrong... that is entertaining to me as well.

Some days however... the complete heaviness of a crushing adult world takes the absolute last of my comedic energy and kicks it square in the balls. (Which I am sure leads to a grazing Taint shot as well.)
So yeah... more blogs when I have something mildly amusing to say.

Too Tired to be funny

Well... It seems with all of the stuff going on at work... I just don't have time to think through being funny.

I mean Rick and I tear on anyone in our "go-to Group" and I think it is funny... pretty sure that the manwhich comments had Rick laughin' so I think he enjoyed it....

Speaking of enjoying it.... rick, guy smiley said he needs his cane and seeing eyedog back if he's ever gonna find his way back to Salvation army... his sense of smell has been all fucked up since salvation army guy showed him deep.

So yeah... I know I am not really that funny tonight... but I am tired.
More when I feel a bit more on the funny side.

Things I didn't know before I met Rick: Part 1

• That an old lady, once soaked moves a hell of a lot faster on the second day.

• That I was considered by some to be an "Anti-social prick"... Turns out it was just a misconception... I am Many kinds of prick... NOT just an anti-social one.

• Where Dresden was on the map. I still couldn't get us back there if ya paid me.
  

• That I could pay tolls with (mostly) empty Mt Dew bottles and pennies from my ashtray and floorboards... Man was that toll booth attendant a prick!

• If there is a party and a cooler Rick will KNOW where the "Last" of the beer is.

• Rick and I are NOT the ones to call if you have just broken up with someone. Our solution involves a 1/2 gallon of Jack and a bag of Dunster's donuts.

• If we crawl up onto the roof pretty soon Everyone wants to be on the roof.

• That the cops in Hampden USED to be cooler.

• If you are at a pit party... DON'T RUN! it is far better to finish your drink while the cops chase those that did run.
  

• More to come on these...
  

Happy Birthday Brotha!

Hope you had a great Birthday.


...and that taint just ya typical Birthday wishin' BS right there I tell ya.

Nope... Tain't at'all.

(Twice the taint with half the wishin'... That there is what old salvation army guy would call a win / win)

Flash, Blogging & Cars

Tattoo Flash
I have been thinking about doing up some tattoo flash as of late and posting some of it here.
I Worked on Ricks tattoo and was really happy that he liked it.
It is one of those things where I like it because I worked on it but then you start to question if it is good or if it is just good to you because you have been looking at it for so long.
So it was a relief that he liked it as well.
I really like doing tattoo flash art more than most things that I draw.
It is like instant gratification.
So that being said you may see some of it posted here.

My Blog
It needs a face lift worse than a Joan Crawford before an awards ceremony.
I have been kicking around some designs and need to make the background images for the page.
So take that as a warning that the look of my site may change a bunch of times between now and whenever.

She's Alive Igor.... ALIVE!
The car that is.
I got her put back together and let me just tell you something.
There is a reason I do not make my living as a mechanic.
Now I know what some of you are thinking... and No I am quite capable of skinning my knuckles and swearing (in fact that part I am quite proficient at)
I know that comes as quite a shock to all of you.
As I am sure you can all picture me in my greasy clothes saying things like "Sugar foot", "Oh Crabgrass" and "Muffin sticks!"
Surprisingly enough "Taint" has been know to cross my lips... no wait a second... THAT'S not what I meant...
Anyway.
So back to the reason I don't make my living at it.
There are things that I am capable of doing and enjoy... but if I HAVE to do them... they become NOT fun and I drag my feet like a dog at the vets that's going to be neutered.

All that being said... I got the car back together and the way I did it was the absolute simplest formula and it was one that relied on digging deep into my past.

The method for finishing the car went something like this...
01: Get extremely fuuuuuuhckt up the night before (Check!) ... party like a rock star that has access to a game camera, some cake boobs (Yes I meant "Cake" ANYONE can fondle FAKE boobs) and a fishing lure.
02: Do anything BUT work on the car when you wake up.
03: Around 3:30 - 4ish Throw on greasy clothes (UNLESS you woke up in your "Greasy clothes that is" hey... it happens.)
04: Crawl under vehicle and absolutely blank out your mind... Switch to auto pilot. (It is a good thing that my "Auto Pilot Flight instructions" were programmed when I was three sheets to the wind.... aaaaah the "Formative years" )
05: Scrape & skin knuckles and forearms all to hell
06: Swear. This may happen at ANY time through out this formula... it is not necessarily tied to the sixth position however it does generally follow Step five at what ever interval that particular step crops up in the routine.
07: Take a break to look things over... this is the point at which you realize that #@$%in' power steering pump bracket obstructs your ability to thread in the leftmost exhaust manifold nut at which point you continue to celebrate your absolute wisdom at "Saving time" by bolting that on first. Not that I'm bitter or anything but I tell you if I ever meet the fucker that was the lead engineer at Hyundai I swear to Christ the ass whooping I lay do will be of biblical proportions... I mean we will find out if an engineers Taint and a power steering pump bracket can "Begat" anything.
08: Redo anything that you did in what seemed like a logical order but found in step seven to be wrong. Until you have performed to at least the extent of your ability a somewhat Half ass job.
09: Toss your tools in on the floor mats 'cuz your done for the night... I didn't say you were DONE.... I said you were Done for the night. The reason for the added little modifier on done is UNDOUBTEDLY you found Something else that required attention while working on whatever the hell you originally started working on.

So anyway... the car is done....
Except Now I need to Bleed the brakes, fill the power steering fluid, change the filters, change the oil, change the plugs, and change the wipers... Oh yeah not to mention check the circuit for the speed sensor and oil the hinges.
But I mean other than that this bitch is DONE!

So ya see there is a definite reason that I don't make a living at this stuff.

Tried to moon the game camera...

But that didn't seem to work out... you can thank me now.

The way it is...

Alright.... as anyone who was there can tell you....
The party last night was an absolute success!
Thank you to Rick and Colleen for hosting the event & everyone that came for making it as cool as it was.
Great fireside conversation and general discussion... we covered all of the basics (of course).

The basic rundown...

The night started like many before it... but would soon become "One for the books."
The supplies were plentiful and the crowd was trickling in.
Questions abound about the intricacies of lesbianism and it's application... especially as it pertains to trucking.

Of course the game camera was to play a huge part of the evening and I will say a big thank you to Ingrid for playing along out at the game cam. Everyone else that said they were going to go out, did not.

Drinking

Yes there was some.
Let me just say... I maintained a buzz that was described as "You're Fucked UP!" several times.
Now in my defense.... I was fucked up.
I have to say Nicole you started it by putting your melon in my mouth!
Woah... THAT Drink was a nice little distraction... I just think it needs a more Manly name...
I think I will call it "TrainWreck!" (and YES the "!" is part of the name.)

TMI

Sometimes when I talk and there are new people around I see this look in there eyes that is something akin to "okay... I need to back slowly out of the room and sneak away... then I need to get a tetanus shot"
So okay I admit re-enacting the Rite-aid scene where I pretended to have crabs MAAAAAAY have been a bit much for the first intro night. Work should be fun for you colleen... but I have to tell you after that retelling there were a few people "Adjusting themselves in an uncomfortable way"

Craigslist snapper in the morning

Let me just say... there are some things I don't need to see over eggs and bacon and there a some "Missed connections" that are just plain creepy. Oh yeah... Sushi guy... just go on craigslist I swear there seems to be a large calling for someone to lay down the raw fish.

Ingrid... So are ya coming?

I mean we need a commitment here.

This is some serious business.... you know if you don't come then we are gonna be drunk and belligerently texting 'til all hours of the night.

Okay... I have been trying to think about what is gonna be on the game camera when rick pulls the card in the morning.

I am bringing some props with me... so this should be good.

All hail the 4th o' july party!

is it time to party yet?

I am looking forward to Saturday!

Long days....

Sorry for the lack of blogging....
The days have been packed so full I have been dropping shortly after walking in the door here at night.


I hope to have something amusing and interesting after work lets out tomorrow...

We shall see... I mean I already revealed my hair care regimen for those of you that haunt the circle I run in... I mean that and saying testicles is about the extent of what I can pull off tonight....

Wait... I didn't mean I was going to pull MY testicles off...
I am not pulling ANY testicles off for that matter!

Okay I am just going to stop before this turns into some sick abbot and costello routine...
"Who's testicles are ya pullin' off?"
"damn straight, both of them!"
"both of who's?"
"That's what I just said"
"Who's?"
"yes!"

Okay... this is me stopping. >_<