~>Guy Etiquette 101<~

This will be a recurring theme...
(THAT was a Warning for those that don't know me.)

An ongoing study of "GUYism" to help those that are unaware of the complex rules Guys adhere to.

Today I will be handling a delicate subject.
The mens room.
More specifically the proper behavior regarding speech when in the men's room.

I think that when you are in the Men's room there are only a few reasons why you should EVER talk to someone.
They are as follows.

It is your Man-cub and he is in the stages that require Guidance of some sort. Conversation should be kept to a minimum though so that he is not conditioned to believe it is an acceptable "Place of conversation".

You have been attacked by Ninjas and they have lopped off you manhood... At Which point it is EVERY male in a 13 mile radius' job to assist you in locating said member... so you are free to use whatever communication methods you are capable of to acquire previously mentioned assistance.

You just survived an incredible feat of heroism in which time as you enter the mens room leaving the cheering crowd outside someone makes eye contact with you... you are allowed to look them in the eyes and say " HERO comin' through... step aside" Point dramatically to your chest and utter not another word.

You May Swear Loudly and spit if your zipper catches skin.. but DO NOT Look at anyone while doing this... You must look at the ceiling, the floor, or the urinal... That is it... you can kick the wall... but NO crying. EVER(in the mens room)!

You Or your buddy is drunk to the point where assistance to get into the bathroom was require. Getting the wedding tackle out NO MATTER HOW DRUNK the individual is... is the responsibility of the drunk. PERIOD.

Previously mentioned drunk has just "Dropped a deuce that he is proud of" ... I am sorry to say this is not really acceptable but we all know that if you got him in there and he managed it on his own.... you aren't gonna be able to shut him up about it. But like with the monkeys at the zoo... Just don't make eye contact

IF (you are single Or "hooked up" with a solid set of "Top Five" rules in place and) ANY one of your "Top Five" Mysteriously appears in the bathroom and requests that you become their personal Love slave... You are allowed to yell "Hell Yes!" and proceed to make the "I'm Bangin' her" Hip motions and/or Finger gestures behind her as you walk to her waiting Limo

You are blind. You are allowed to say "So... is THIIIIIIS the F*@#IN' Men's room?!" at which time any gentlemen that happen to be in there are allowed to Clear their throat, cough, or say Yes. Because your handicap has allow him to feel good for doing the required "good deed before you die"

(VISUAL: ~>Flash to the bar later that night<~ "I mean shit guys... what was I s'pohz ta do.. the poor fella wouldah piss't Himself RIGHT there! I am a F*@#in' regular old guy... but Sometimes... Ya just gotta help out. sez that in the bible... pretty sure. I heard it once.")

Sorry if I have offended any Blind people that happen to read my Blog I promise I didn't mean you... I meant THAT guy over there... the one no one likes that smells funny.

Military Intelligence got me were I am today. Well...

Punishment can Pay off...
Some people may not realize this but I came by my occupation as a punishment.
Sounds funny but it is true.
While In the service, after being reassigned (Against my will I will tell ya... That is the Punishment part... but it is a Looooong story better saved for later) to an "Office job" I encountered a defining moment in How I got to be where I am now.

When things began to change...
I walked in to "The Office" one morning and was walking down to my den in the shadowy part of the world and I heard what sounded like some one kickin' the shit out of a something pretty solid.
Me being me... I was up for givin' something a good kick myself.. So I poked my head in through one of the open offices...
I see "the Big Man" putting serious boot to a shelf that had a printer on top of it and a computer next to it. That scene, Was one of the most perfect examples of why the military is sometimes "Slow" to adopt certain technologies.
I Asked if he needed a hand...
"You know anything about this thing?"
"Well not That particular one sir... but I can take a shot at it"
He motioned at it Like "Go For it!"
So I saddled up and took a look.
What I am about to describe for you was by far the funniest thing I had seen... But I had to control myself because He was hovering over me.
I look at the screen and there are error messages stacked up in pop-ups all over the screen.. I mean it is Fuuuuuuuull of 'em. I reach for the mouse... ~>Wait for it<~
The mouse pad had been (duct) 100-mile-an-hour taped to the desk it was on... AND the Mouse Had been Taped to the Mouse pad. I look at it and blink... Look at it again He chimes in with.. "So, can you fix it?! I NEED this print out for the meeting."
"Yes Sir I can.. I will be right back"
I ran to my office and pulled my mouse from my desktop and headed back.
I unplugged the mouse they had taped down and Plugged it up.
I started shutting down the error messages and reading them as I went.
Got them all shut down and cleared out the print queue except his job and restarted it.
It started spitting out his print out.

Now you are wondering Why the tape... as was I... It was explained to me later that Most people in the office Didn't know how to work it so one of the guys from another area had set it up so that when the messages popped up they were all aligned... So when ever it "Beeped or stopped" they would go look... if there was a message The mouse was taped down over the X button so they would click once and it would go away.

That worked fine until an error happened and the messages started going all over the place... NONE of them had Any clue what to do... I should also say that at that time the military programs where mostly Keyboard controlled... text based menu structure stuff... So a mouse seemed like alien equipment to these yokels I guess.

Later in the day I was called on the carpet in "the Big Man's" office with my supervisor and his supervisor... both of them looking at me like "what the fuck did you do?!"
He informed me that I would be going to Seattle.. where I would take computer courses and be a regular student until I finished up the courses I needed.. when I got back I was going to be the "Computer guy" for the group.

So I got trained, I got out, I got here.
That is it in an anecdotally huge Nutshell.

Rock the world & Wait my turn

Firstly as you may have guessed from My super short Post on Myspace.. The dishwasher is finally just a check in the "Fuckin' DONE" column.
I suppose I should give The better half the award for Most Patiently perfect spouse... :D
I tried to explain... it is Like installing a windshield durring the winter time... You gotta bring it inside and let it Slooooooooooooooowly come up to temp. before installing it... ~>Laughs<~

Just kiddin'.
Well, I have more work to get done before the party so I am actually looking forward to getting some more done this weekend. I can't wait to be to the point where the only goals that we have are Wants... Not Needs... I don't mean that to sound negative (If it did) I just mean to be at the point where there is no Urgency for repairs.
I have an older home... so I will never Truly be "Done" done... but you know.. the BIG things are what I am talking about.

Now Onto something I didn't have the energy to get into last night..... I needed sleep and Stuff. ;0P
I was down in my basement while plumbing and wiring the Dishwasher.
I needed to move some boxes around and stack stuff up out of the way.
While doing this in a partially stooped over manner... I knocked over one of the crates that I had just balanced rather stupidly on the gap between two previously stacked boxes.
As it began it's path toward the ground I attempted to stop it...
All I succeeded in doing was knocking over a different crate... sending the contents scattering this way and that. In normal fashion I Sighed out a Low Cuss as I stooped down to gather up all of the contents.
Snatching them up and stuffing them back into the container.
Looking this way and that I gathered in all of the scattered items. I looked as I got closer to one of the last items... Strange... That looks like....
>I reached down...<
I sat back on one of the crates and just stared... I hadn't seen this in a very long time.
I held the book in my hands.
Opening the cover I was taken back.
Staring back at me from those musty pages was the history of me.
Or at least the pieces that I had captured. It was the notebook that contianed the old songs that I wrote on the back of slips while loitering at Triple J.
>I turned another page<
There were the songs written by Rick.
Then some that we wrote together.
As I thumbed through the pages I saw how childish and Young some of my opinions and outlooks were...
How little I truly understood about the world I lived in.
But it was a refreshing look at myself...
Fumbling around... Something slid from the back.
A slightly tattered envelope that had been tucked away.
I Looked at the front and smiled.
Diggin' into it... I pulled out a collection of letters.
Letters that Rick wrote to keep my spirits up when I was away.
I know I have said he is my best friend... but reading through the letters and remembering that he has always been my best bub... It made me appreciate having him back even more than I already did.
I have to say I am not sure How a chain of events as random as that can leads to what I got...
But It was a great way to remember the long road that it takes to get to who you are.
Sometimes I forget that It took a long time to build the person I have become.

So... I mean it isn't a story about takin' a shot to "the Boys" but it is my story for this evening. ;p

All The World is waiting for the sun...

Rain

Rain

go away...

Just a Little refrence to "Rain" From Breaking Benjamin...

Needed to test another email posting method.
Please bear with me. I should have this down.

Trial Posting Via Email

I am trying to post this via my email.

Just testing to see if it will correctly post or not.

Trying different font Formats as well.... just to see what carries over.

Swears A bit

~>Swears a bit more<~

and then Kicks the Html in the backside. I just needed to test another Post to see if the stupid looking Drop Shadow Partial Box was gonna show up again.... Bear with me while I iron out come of this super lovely code.

• This is a bullet
• One which I while use upon this Html if it does not do as instructed.

Html.... You have been warned.

Alright., So There I was...

Setting up a blog that I can do from at work.
After this I am gonna have to join the push by Colleen to get Rick onto BlogSpot so I can read what he has going on...

...And so it begins.