So we watched Twilight as you all know.
Well I have to say I liken the experience to that of watching a school play when your kid isn't in it.
I DID NOT enjoy the movie.
Now I'll be honest I didn't expect to like it that much... but was hoping to be surprised.
I wasn't surprised for the reason I had hoped.
Through most of the film I was hoping that he would just tear her throat out and be done with it.
The one saving grace (In my twisted mind at least) is Alice.
That chick is ten kindsa awesome wrapped up in a kickass little neck-snappin' frame.
So having said all that let me give you a rundown of how the movie could have been better.
- When Bella all but pulled her panties to the side for Edward... He coulda DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! (Like my blog title implies!)
- Edward could have been at least slightly less of an all around Pussy (just for starters)
- There could have been more killing and maybe an explosion worthy of mention.
- See #1 (Once again... fer the love of Christ the girl wanted you about as far inside of her as your pansy ass could have made it... I mean damn at least show the girl a couple hardcore seconds of your Vampire love.)
- They could have done a cross-over and let Edward use the "Port Key" from his last wondrous role and maybe he could have jumped straight into talent.... or at least a couple of acting classes.
- AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE SO PAY ATTENTION. The cock-knocking, swill gargler that ALLOWED "Edward" to think he was talented enough to play and sing the song for the soundtrack should have been dragged on screen and had his entrails pulled slowly out through his rectum with a spork. IF you thought his acting was bad.... Oooooh his singing will take you to a very dark place... and NOT in a good way. (that WONDERFUL little singing that you hear warbbling in the back ground as Bella is eating in the resturaunt... yup you guessed it... That is the sissy immortal himself.... don't believe me... check the credits.)
- When I left the movie someone could have met me at the theater doors and Knelt down in front of me begging me to forgive them for haven taken my money and then refunded the total cost of the tickets and given me movie passes good for as many movies as I would like for the remaning years I had left on this filthy dirtclod called earth. That might have come close to squaring up.
So... I wonder if the sequel will be any good? >.<
8 comments:
Did you miss the whole thing about the fact the the movie was designed for 13 year old girls... hence none of those "missing things" would have been at all appropriate. So I'm pretty sure you weren't SUPPOSED to enjoy it... and if you HAD enjoyed... I would have more concerned.
I can't WAIT to read your review of the next Bratz movie! ;)
Well... to be honest I think that Jade is too bitchy in the previews!
>_O
She does have a point though! You are NOT a thirteen year old girl! Although I do understand the confusion! LOL
I look frigin' hot in a skirt though.... so I can see the degree of confusion
You do look a bit like the 'Silence of the Lambs' guy with your package tucked between your legs! Still don't think I would mistake you for a chick though! I think it is the three hairs on your chest that would betray you! Most women have more than that! LOL
O.K. Like I said Jerry in the books they don't do it until she is married to him :) That whole moral thing...The story was written by a 30 something year old house wife...with 3 kids who just "dreamed" it one night...Hate her! :) LOL...I think it really would only appeal to women...though I have read the transcript for the version as told by Edward that she wrote and it is much more appealing through a male perspective and I hope she publishes that one... :) There is more talk about killing people...
Some how I think a few more Killings would have made it into a passable movie.
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