Monday, July 7, 2008

Flash, Blogging & Cars

Tattoo Flash
I have been thinking about doing up some tattoo flash as of late and posting some of it here.
I Worked on Ricks tattoo and was really happy that he liked it.
It is one of those things where I like it because I worked on it but then you start to question if it is good or if it is just good to you because you have been looking at it for so long.
So it was a relief that he liked it as well.
I really like doing tattoo flash art more than most things that I draw.
It is like instant gratification.
So that being said you may see some of it posted here.

My Blog
It needs a face lift worse than a Joan Crawford before an awards ceremony.
I have been kicking around some designs and need to make the background images for the page.
So take that as a warning that the look of my site may change a bunch of times between now and whenever.

She's Alive Igor.... ALIVE!
The car that is.
I got her put back together and let me just tell you something.
There is a reason I do not make my living as a mechanic.
Now I know what some of you are thinking... and No I am quite capable of skinning my knuckles and swearing (in fact that part I am quite proficient at)
I know that comes as quite a shock to all of you.
As I am sure you can all picture me in my greasy clothes saying things like "Sugar foot", "Oh Crabgrass" and "Muffin sticks!"
Surprisingly enough "Taint" has been know to cross my lips... no wait a second... THAT'S not what I meant...
Anyway.
So back to the reason I don't make my living at it.
There are things that I am capable of doing and enjoy... but if I HAVE to do them... they become NOT fun and I drag my feet like a dog at the vets that's going to be neutered.

All that being said... I got the car back together and the way I did it was the absolute simplest formula and it was one that relied on digging deep into my past.

The method for finishing the car went something like this...
01: Get extremely fuuuuuuhckt up the night before (Check!) ... party like a rock star that has access to a game camera, some cake boobs (Yes I meant "Cake" ANYONE can fondle FAKE boobs) and a fishing lure.
02: Do anything BUT work on the car when you wake up.
03: Around 3:30 - 4ish Throw on greasy clothes (UNLESS you woke up in your "Greasy clothes that is" hey... it happens.)
04: Crawl under vehicle and absolutely blank out your mind... Switch to auto pilot. (It is a good thing that my "Auto Pilot Flight instructions" were programmed when I was three sheets to the wind.... aaaaah the "Formative years" )
05: Scrape & skin knuckles and forearms all to hell
06: Swear. This may happen at ANY time through out this formula... it is not necessarily tied to the sixth position however it does generally follow Step five at what ever interval that particular step crops up in the routine.
07: Take a break to look things over... this is the point at which you realize that #@$%in' power steering pump bracket obstructs your ability to thread in the leftmost exhaust manifold nut at which point you continue to celebrate your absolute wisdom at "Saving time" by bolting that on first. Not that I'm bitter or anything but I tell you if I ever meet the fucker that was the lead engineer at Hyundai I swear to Christ the ass whooping I lay do will be of biblical proportions... I mean we will find out if an engineers Taint and a power steering pump bracket can "Begat" anything.
08: Redo anything that you did in what seemed like a logical order but found in step seven to be wrong. Until you have performed to at least the extent of your ability a somewhat Half ass job.
09: Toss your tools in on the floor mats 'cuz your done for the night... I didn't say you were DONE.... I said you were Done for the night. The reason for the added little modifier on done is UNDOUBTEDLY you found Something else that required attention while working on whatever the hell you originally started working on.

So anyway... the car is done....
Except Now I need to Bleed the brakes, fill the power steering fluid, change the filters, change the oil, change the plugs, and change the wipers... Oh yeah not to mention check the circuit for the speed sensor and oil the hinges.
But I mean other than that this bitch is DONE!

So ya see there is a definite reason that I don't make a living at this stuff.

5 comments:

Rick Jordan said...

Too funny! I can see you fuming under there as clear as day! Awesome blog, my brother!

Nicole said...

Wow, that definitely explains your career choice!

Artistically Twisted said...

Oooooooooh my career is all an accident followed by one long string of strange coincidences and lucky breaks... oh yeah and it's Rick's fault too. ;0)

Julie said...

The thing is at least you know what to fuck a manifold is! I mean there are a lot of people who would have said...ahh the car is fucked time for a new one and dropped 12plus on a new car..While we spent 4-5 hundred to get it fixed. I am proud of ya for that. BUT If I had known you had to be hung over to get shit done I would have taken advantage of that...I have a list of shit to do so plan on getting wasted Saturday LOL

Artistically Twisted said...

Ooops... sorry babe.. I'm on call. **Laughs** ;0P